You Need A Vacation Like Nobody's Business!  (Part I)

by Clifford

Think you may not have a pulse anymore?  Maybe you need to get away. 

Financial crisis getting you down?  Severence check burning a hole in your pocket?  I strongly advise you to consider a short - or if you can afford it - very long vacation - a relaxing yet invigorating journey to a place you've never been - where you can think things out and get to know who you really are again - hopefully for you, you're worth getting to know!

Going on a long-needed vacation accomplishes a number of key objectives.  First and foremost, feeling like a total loser can take a tremendous toll on your spirit - a great vacation should provide an immediate release of some of the stress you've been experiencing, and give you the rest and relaxation you need in order to feel normal again.

Second, a vacation will give you some perspective on your problems and may provide a quiet place where you can think of new and better strategies for getting out of the mess you're in.

Third, going to a place where you've never been before affords you the opportunity to be anonymous. Chances are, strangers won't ask too many personal questions - after all, they probably have something to hide, too - and you needn't offer up any of the sordid details of your situation if you don't want to - my advice is that you don't give them anything.

Fourth, should you decide to take along your spouse or a lover or whatever, getting away from it all will no doubt place you in a better light in his or her eyes.  Why?  Because at home, I would bet you are the one who feels inferior - trounced upon - or the lesser member of the couple.  When you are on the road, it's different - you and your partner are equals, in a sense - you might even be the dominant one - and that's a good thing.

Finally, if you are single and your loser-ness is the result of not having a companion in the first place, getting away is a tremendous opportunity to actually meet someone - hey, you never know!

Whom To Take

When I say, get away from it all, I mean get away from the people and things in your life that cause you the most aggravation. (Exception: If the people that cause you the most aggravation are bill collectors, my advice would be to skip the vacation, unless you want to go on a permanent vacation in another country.  And under no circumstances should you allow the bill collectors to accompany you on your trip!) Specifically, I am referring here to kids. If you have kids, and if they're anything like mine, they fight and scream an awful lot, especially in the car.  And guess what - they can be aggravating!

While I am sure you love them more than anyone else in the whole world, my advice is to leave the kids home during this particular escape.  Of course, you probably want your children to have new experiences and be with you for all the magical moments and all that crap, but you, my friend, are going away for one reason - to get your mind back!  So please, do not give in at the last moment to the neurotic urge to take them along - simply pack your bags, get the heck out of the house, and don't look back.   Trust me, the kids will be better off in the long run because you'll be better off after this vacation that you so desperately need. 

Important note: Should you decide to follow my advice and leave your kids behind, and your kids are under the age of, say, 16, I strongly urge you to find someone to watch your kids while you are away.  Don't just walk out the door and leave behind your six-month-old girl in her crib or something like that - that's not what I meant and you know it.

Read "Vacation": Part II