Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Wanabat Resolutions

It’s that time of year again. I refer of course to Wanabat, the Cambodian New Year. Happy 2553 BE (Buddhist Era).

As you probably know, Wanabat falls at the end of the harvesting season when farmers can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. Wanabat is often celebrated with water-throwing or dousing, similar to water boarding, but of a good natured sort.

In commemoration of the holiday, I have assembled some Wanabat resolutions which I’m going to keep by gosh:

1. Spend more quantity time with the special people in my life, the loved ones who really matter, which come to think of it are pretty much me. So even more me time in 2553.

2. Give myself permission to love myself again, and most importantly, act upon it. Initiate a love affair with myself. Shower myself with spontaneous acts of affection on a frequent basis. Arrange romantic candlelight dinners with myself and read aloud sonnets proclaiming everlasting love and devotion to myself.

3. Sell all stocks and shift funds to online gambling sites that provide a more secure rate of return.

4. Confront gambling addiction. No wait, that’s too confrontational. Nurture gambling addiction.

5. Get a new look, or for that matter any look.

6. Improve my listening skills, or at least pretend to listen, or maybe just nod my head occasionally.

7. Connect to 10,000 new friends on Facebook and ask each of them for a $1,000 loan secured by my Facebook wall.

8. Watch less television and more YouTube. Make that more television and lots more YouTube.

9. Recharge my batteries and consider switching over to ethanol or any other alcohol based compound.

10. Do something about global warming, even if it’s merely a hollow, symbolic gesture like turning up the air conditioning in the summertime.

11. Remove Mccain-Palin poster from my front lawn and replace it with “White Middle Aged Bald Guys Seeking Bail Out, for Obama” poster.

12. Finally quit smoking once and for all. This should be doable as I don’t smoke. Always handy to have at least one realistic resolution.

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