Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Talk (Think!) Like a Winner

If you harbor any hope of being a winner in life, it is necessary to not only talk like a winner, but also to think like one. Sequence is unimportant, either will do. To be a winner in today’s dog eat dog rat race you need to not only talk the talk and walk the walk, you need to think the think. Fortunately I’ve done all the hard thinking for you. Here are some essential phrases that can turn you into an instant winner:

Winner: “Loser-Winner. I don’t think of people in those terms.”
Translation: Of course I do; everybody does, except for losers.

Winner: “When it comes to people I am colorblind.”
Translation: The only color I see is green; show me the green. There are three types of people in the world: those that have increased my wealth, those that in the future may increase my wealth, and those that will never increase my wealth. Those in the last group I wish nothing but a life of unending misery.

Winner: “You hit stage in life when it’s time to give back.”
Translation: Yeah, pay back all the losers that have stood in my way.

Winner: “It’s better to give than to receive.”
Translation: Pain

Winner: “Money makes the world go round.”
Translation: And then some

Winner: “We’re all in this together.”
Translation: Some more than others, if you get my drift.

Winner:”There’s more to life than money.”
Translation: Perhaps, but nothing worth wasting your time on.

Winner: “It’s not about me, it’s about us.”
Translation: It’s 100% about me.

Winner: “I didn’t vote for Obama, but I am glad he is president.”
Translation: Impeach Obama. Palin, 2012.

Winner: “Money can’t buy happiness”
Translation: It can and it does, and I am living evidence of it. I am extremely happy.

Winner: “I hate terrorists as much as anybody, but Americans don’t torture, period.”
Translation: Just kill the brutes and be done with it.

Winner: “It is best to win without a fight.”
Translation: Either way is fine.

Winner: “You can't take it with you”
Translation: You can't, I can

Winner: “I'm all about win-win”
Translation: I win-win, you lose-lose.

Winner: “A winner never loses and a loser never wins”
Translation: What’s the matter, you can’t read?

Winner: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Translation: It’s you.

Perhaps you are thinking, if you’re such a winner Mr. big shot, why are you wasting your time writing advice to losers who are beyond any hope? To which I would respond, who asked you, loser? But if you must really know, I do it for the money of course. I get paid obscene amounts of money for writing BS like this.

© copyright 2009, LoserCafe, All rights reserved.



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